Entry 7: Different Different, But Same

Week 9: Communicative Situations 2 - Cross-Gender Interactions

Does a men's brain really look like that?

John Gray adopted the metaphor “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”, likening men and women to the classical Roman god Mars and goddess Venus as ideal types in his widely successful book of the same title. Hence, it does not come as a surprise that there are indeed differences between cross-gender and same-sex interactions.

The first theory that accounts for this difference is ‘dominance’ theory. As the power continuum is not allocated to man and women equally, it often results in man having more “power” than women.

The second theory is called the ‘difference theory’ and this is often link to biological factors (hormones) and socialization patterns of the 2 genders.

I believe the major fallacy of both theories is that is homogenizes both genders to behave in a certain way. If the above 2 theories stand, how do we account for men who are known as the “lady’s men” or women who are known as the “men’s lady” (is the such a term?). These 2 groups of people don’t seem to fall under the classification of being either man or women. Even Gray realizes that his "Martians" and "Venusians” stereotypes cannot be applied blindly to individuals. In the same light I think the above theories can be used as a framework to analyse cross-gender interaction, but it is by no means to be taken like the holy grail.

So if men and women are that different? Wouldn’t it be tempting to be able to get in to the heads of the opposite gender (just for a day) and get a sneak peak of what is actually going on in their brains? Maybe those so-called “lady’s men” are can really read women’s thoughts, or maybe simply they just bat for the other team. Anyhow, this brings to mind the film “What Women Wants” that starred Mel Gibson as a male chauvinist, who is able to read the mind of women after encountering a bathroom accident.

Maybe if we could all read the opposite gender’s thoughts, it would save us all a lot of trouble? But then again, without the ‘trouble’, there wouldn’t be ‘the fun’ right?